he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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