You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
