spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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