Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Randomize
