i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
