I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it glows. i had to have it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
