I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
