She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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