He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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