And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
