the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
