Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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