If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
