drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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