Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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