Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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