Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
