I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
