Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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