is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize