Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
