Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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