I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
