I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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