Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
