do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
