This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
