Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
