garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
