Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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