I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
