I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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