ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
im on a boat
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