I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
