she looked like the bat from fern gully.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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