420 ftw
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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