That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
