Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
