I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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