Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
