Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize