I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
