I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
