There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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