anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
