We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just found a bag of teeth...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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