why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
