Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
