I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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