I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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