I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
