I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize