I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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