you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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