A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
