That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
