ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
