So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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