I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
