My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
