I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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