I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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