tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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