why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
