i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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