wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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