We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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