i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize