People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
