I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
