Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
