He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
